I do realize that this week’s edition of Bittman Mondays is a little late…but it’s been a weekend.  You know when you have one of those weekends that fly right by you in a haze of activity?  Or one of those weekends when so many things happen, it takes way too long to wrap your brain around them?  Or one of those weekends when the thought of doing anything more culinary than boiling water seems a Herculean feat?  Well that was the kind of weekend I had…all rolled up into one.  So when it came time for Bittman Monday, I went on the hunt for pie…preferably with chocolate.  Because as we all know, a good pie crust and chocolate make everything so much better.

It was such a beautiful weekend that the very thought of doing anything trapped indoors (like pie baking) seemed wrong somehow.  I mean, here it was February and it felt like Spring!  Brunch was being served outside all over the city.  The line for froyo (oh I’m hip to the lingo the young kids are throwing down now) at Tangy Sweet went out the door in Dupont Circle.  And we won’t even discuss the odd mixture of children picniking with their parents alongside a band of young Asian guys break dancing to Grand Master Flash (if only I’d had the sense enough to capture their routine on film).  So you can’t blame me for not wanting to stay inside toiling over a pie, can you?  I mean, it’s not like I completely abandoned the kitchen or anything…just decided to have a fling with the outdoors instead.

But just as I had to when I was younger, I came in when the street lights came on.  And it was at that moment when I remembered this chocolate cream pie…and the fact that I hadn’t actually finished making it.  I made the crust on Saturday, so all I had to do was roll it out, bake it and make the filling.  Honestly, this ended up being one of the easiest pies I’ve ever made, right down to the instructions for the crust.  Sure I knew all about using beans, rice or pie weights to keep the crust from bubbling up during baking.  But I’d never heard about first placing a greased piece of foil over the crust before weighing it down with the aforementioned rice, beans or pie weights.  This prevents the weights from leaving indentions in your finished crust.  Even though the filling always covers up the indentions, the foil also prevents any moisture from escaping the crust during baking.  What’s left is a wonderfully flaky crust that is still sturdy enough to hold up to any filling.

As with almost all of his recipes, Bittman’s Cream Pie recipe is a master recipe that allows for variation.  I threw in two ounces of quality unsweetened chocolate from ACKC here in DC into the basic cream filling as it cooked.  The result was a rich and decadent pudding that could have easily been eaten on its own.  I followed the recipe faithfully and added the meringue topping but the next time I make it, I will be using a homemade bourbon whip cream instead.  Because as one of my good friends puts it, “What could be better than whiskey and chocolate?”

I am quite relieved to say this Bittman Monday went a lot better than last week’s inaugural installment.  In fact, this coffee cake was a perfect complement to a lovely Sunday morning!  No yeast issues, no weeping at the lack of dough rise.  No sir!  Just the taste of victory, which coincidentally tastes of cardamom and walnuts.  But victory required a little adjusting and a little tweaking and perhaps a few choice words uttered at the cook book…some of which may or may not have rhymed with duck.

As a disclosure, I will take you through the process I went through when making all my Bittman Monday recipes.  However, for exact measurements, please refer to Mark Bittman’s “How to Cook Everything”…I don’t want to get sued for you guys!

I’m starting to learn a few things about How to Cook Everything.  For one, Bittman’s writing style is very conversational, giving you the sense he’s actually in the kitchen with you.  He also covers a lot of ground in this book…going from kitchen equipment to clean up.  It’s a wonderful reference for the novice cook, especially those just starting to stock their kitchens.  For others who are more advanced cooks, a lot of these sections can come across as useless or even unnecessary…if you want to be like that.  Although a lot of his tips were things I already knew, I dutifully read through some of the sections and learned a few new tricks.

But there are some things I have noticed that are less than stellar.  For instance, I have already made six recipes from this book…and only one would be declared a hit.  The cinammon buns fell flat (as we all know); the cornbread I made was a little on the chewy side; the hummus didn’t taste any better than store bought (I had to go searching online for a different Bittman hummus recipe for the savory tuiles); and we won’t even go into the pancake debacle.  The common denominator in each of these recipes?  Had I listened to the little voice in my head (she sounds like Martha Stewart by the way…which is kind of scary), the recipes would have turned out well.  Like when I read the recipe for the cornbread, I thought to myself, “Hmmmm…that size skillet is going to make a rather flat cornbread.”  But instead of going with a smaller size like I should have, I followed the recipe faithfully…and the cornbread was a thin mess.  I sensed the hummus would be improved with a different ratio of chickpeas to liquid, but once again, I ignored that thought and plowed on.  The result?  A grainy, less than flavorful dip that I wouldn’t have served to Scout and Roo, let alone guests.

So when I got to this recipe, I decided to give it a try but to follow my instincts.  When I added the egg and milk and the batter was way too thick to “pour into the pan” as the recipe suggested, I added another half of an egg and continued on.  I also decided to use a loaf pan as opposed to the nine inch square pan he called for in the recipe.  I adjusted the baking times accordingly and the coffee cake was a success!  Then it hit me…Bittman really doesn’t mean for you to follow all of these recipes faithfully.  These are guidelines to help you along…to help you become a more self reliant cook.  So he really is teaching me how to cook everything!

This is an easy recipe to make your own…he even offers a few alternative suggestions for the basic recipe.  I opted to take his suggestion of replacing the cinnamon with cardamom and it gave the cake a more complex profile of flavors.   You could also easily throw in a cup of seasonal fruit into the batter (fresh blueberries would be a fantastic touch).  The recipe is so versatile, you could do just about anything to it and with a simple adjustment of baking time, it would work.

As with most coffee cakes, you start with making a strudel topping of flour, sugar, nuts and a spice (like cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg or even allspice).  Add cubes of cold butter and using your hands, meld all the ingredients together until you get a mealy type texture.  Set this aside and go on to make the batter.

Sift together the flour, salt, sugar and baking powder, along with the remaining amount of spice you used in the strudel topping.

Cut up the cold butter into small cubes and add them to the dry ingredients.  Using the same method when you made the strudel topping, incorporate the butter into the dry ingredients using your hands.

Once you’ve achieved the mealy texture, add the egg and stir.

Now add the milk and stir until everything is mixed well together.  Have ready either a greased nine inch square pan OR loaf pan.  Pour half of the batter into the pan.

Sprinkle the batter with half of the strudel topping.  Note:  if you use a loaf pan, you may not need to use all of the strudel topping.  Sprinkle enough of the topping over the batter to completely cover the batter.

Pour the remaining batter over the topping.

Then sprinkle the remaining topping over the batter.  Again, if you use a loaf pan, only use enough topping to completely cover the batter.

Bake for 30 minutes if you use the square pan and for at least 50 minutes if you use the loaf pan or until a cake tester comes out clean.

Remember, this is a great recipe to play with, so throw in your favorite ingredients!  Heck, I was considering throwing in some chocolate chips but thought it may be too sweet.  Just make sure to trust your instincts…it’s only bread after all!

I was really hoping to present a triumphant dish for the very first installment of Bittman Mondays.  I wanted to wax poetically about these cinnamon buns…extolling their flavor and texture.  But it was not meant to be because these cinnamon buns were, well, awful.

Maybe awful is a bit harsh.  How about “they had the texture of sugared hockey pucks”?  These little suckers turned out hard, lacking any of the flakiness of a good, quality cinnamon bun (even Little Debbie did a better job than I did).  I sensed trouble right about the time I left the dough to rise.  The dough, a rich golden bread dough that Bittman kindly provides six different ways to use, required at least two hours of rising time.  However, by the one and a half hour mark, the dough had barely risen.  But my panic had risen to epic proportions.  I had no clue why it wasn’t rising, so I took a look back at the recipe.  I double checked all of the ingredients and went over it all in my head.  Had I used the right measurements?  Had I not followed the instructions step by step?  Then I looked at the yeast packet and it hit me:  I hadn’t used instant yeast.  Yikes!  I always have several packets of yeast around the house for baking bread, but one quick look and I realized it wasn’t instant.  Nope…just regular old active-dry yeast.  You would think such a thing really wouldn’t matter, right?  Oh how wrong you are!  Let me explain:

Active dry yeast is the traditional kind of yeast which requires dissolution (and a sweetener in most cases) before the dough is formed and kneaded.  Instant yeast, on the other hand, contains yeast enhancers, thus removing the need for dissolution in a liquid prior to the formation of the dough.  And this is where the problem occurred.  Bittman’s recipe doesn’t call for the yeast to be dissolved in liquid before the flour is added and the dough is formed.  Because of this, the yeast wasn’t activated when I formed and kneaded the dough.  No yeast activation, no rising of dough.  No rising of dough, no flaky goodness.  No flaky goodness, no happy Shaw Girl.

It really is a shame because I could tell the bread was rich and golden (as the name suggested) and the versatility of the dough was a bonus.  Bittman detailed six different variations on his basic recipe, including rolls, saffron fruit and nut bread and of course, these cinnamon buns.  And Bittman’s writing style made the directions a breeze to follow…if only I had followed them more closely.  Oh well…at least they photograph well, right?

Hopefully the next installment of Bittman Mondays will turn out better!